Always
by Blonde Songbird
Summary: Song phic to the song 'Always' by Saliva. Christine is engaged to Raoul, reflecting over her feelings for Erik


A/N: Well, I felt like writing a song phic! ^-^ So here it goes! It's to the song 'Always' by Saliva... interesting band name, huh? : -D Lyrics are written like {{this}}. Please, R&R!!! I would greatly appreciate it!  
  
Christine quietly sat at the white table, the sunshine beating down upon her. A soft sigh fled from her claret lips as the warm rays caused her golden-blonde hair, which was delicately held up in a bun, to shine even more brightly. Picking up her cup of tea, she took a small sip, the hot liquid swiftly traveling down her throat. Although the atmosphere at the de Chagny estate was filled with merriment because of the upcoming marriage, her thoughts kept lingering back to that final night with her dark angel....  
  
{{I hear a voice say, "Don't be so blind" It's telling me all these things That you would probably hide.... Am I your one and only desire? Am I the reason you breathe? Or am I the reason you cry?}}  
  
She didn't know how to feel about Erik. Erik. Even his name caused a shiver to consume her. Part of her felt anger towards him... He lied to her. He told her that he was the Angel of Music... He used her fantasies and grief for her father to deceive her.... But he also filled her with such rapture.... such pure ecstasy!  
  
{{Always.... always.... always....  
I just can't live without you....}}  
  
Tiny crystal tears glistened in Christine's azure eyes, rolling down the crevasses of her rosy cheeks. Erik was everywhere... Everywhere she turned, he seemed to be there. When the wind blew, it was as if it were his breath whispering gently upon her ear. In the depths of the night, she would awake for nothing, only to see the stars outside her window shimmering radiantly... They seemed to be his eyes, watching her.... waiting for her....  
  
{{I love you... I hate you... I can't get around you... I breathe you... I taste you... I can't live without you...}}  
  
Closing her eyelids tightly, more tears threatened to escape her cerulean orbs. God, how she just wanted to be rid of his memory – for her mind to be free, like everyone else's.... for her soul to be free of him... However, she knew this to be merely impossible. Once one knows Erik, it is rather hard to simply erase him from your memory... but oh, she badly desired to forget him! Nonetheless, part of her didn't want to. Without him, she felt a piece of her soul missing. She believed to be so alone.... so desolate. Christine did have Raoul, but he did not fill her with the same feeling Erik had.  
  
{{I just can't take anymore, this life of solitude  
I guess that I'm out the door and now I'm done with you...  
Done with you, done with you, done with you, done with you, done  
with you...}}  
  
Christine rose from the table, appearing quite pale. Picking up her sapphire skirts, she slowly ambled towards the large house. Wrapping her quivering arms tightly around her small body, numerous thoughts cascaded swiftly throughout her head. Throughout the entire ordeal, she had never understood how she felt about Erik. It had been a mix of fear, amazement, passion, pity, and... love. Perhaps she had always let the fear take over in situations of importance. At times, she honestly did not know what her dark angel was thinking. She had never understood how his mind worked. It was so intelligent, so powerful, so astonishing. At other times, she didn't know how to feel, how to act around him. Leaning against the wooden door, she ran her hands exasperatingly over her face. Her pearly-white teeth biting down upon her bottom lip, a heart-wrenching sob escaped her throat.  
  
{{I love you, I hate you, I can't get around you  
I breathe you, I taste you, I can't live without you  
I just can't take anymore, this life of solitude  
I guess that I'm out the door and now I'm done with you}}  
  
"Why did you leave me like this, Erik?" She inquired in a broken whisper, "How could you leave me like this?"  
  
{{I wrapped my head around your heart  
Why would you tear my world apart?}}  
  
Clutching the polished doorknob, she quietly entered the house, making her way upstairs. However, her steps came to an abrupt halt as her gaze befell a silver pistol silently lying on the little, tarnished table in the hallway. Faint memories of that final night came rushing back to her, when Raoul told her the pistol was there, attempting to make her feel safer. Picking up the gun, it glistened as she held it. Her hands were quaking. This cold piece of metal in her hands caused her to remember all Erik had murdered.... all those people, innocent and guilty...  
  
{{I see, the blood all over your hands Does it make you feel, more like a man? Was it all, just a part of your plan The pistol's shaking in my hands and all I hear is the sound...}}  
  
Roughly shaking those haunting memories from her, Christine quickly set the pistol down, letting its audible contact with the table resound throughout the barren hallway. Sauntering into her room, she took a seat in front of her vanity. Releasing her curls, they freely bounced upon her pale shoulders. Staring at herself, she lightly gasped. Her eyes. They appeared exceedingly remote and aloof. This demeanor did not represent her at all! Bringing her icy hand to her throat, she tilted her head. Behind the detachment and despondency in her eyes, there lay a glimmer of hope, innocence, and radiance. Standing, she gradually unfastened her bodice, removing it from her petite body. Slipping on an ashen nightgown, Christine crawled into her bed, pulling the cool sheets over her. Resting her blonde head on the soft pillow, she threw one last glance at her window, the sun still shining luminously. Yes, it was still day, but she did not wish to sit in the sunshine. She did not wish to do anything; she could not focus, for he was stalking her thoughts... Christine's lids leisurely closed, covering her childish cobalt eyes. Perhaps sleep would free her of him... Perhaps not.  
  
{{I love you, I hate you, I can't live without you I love you, I hate you, I can't live without you I just can't take anymore, this life of solitude I pick myself off the floor and now I'm done with you...}}  
  
An inexplicable masked face silently studied the girl as slumber ultimately claimed her. Erik's slender fingers grazed the window, as his eyes displayed a desperate longing.  
"I will always be with you, Christine...." He murmured, his melodic voice soft, yet firm.  
  
{{Always.... always.... always.... always....}} FINIS. 


End file.
